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Taking Happiness with Me

Posted by Stuart at 11:28 PM on August 11, 2003

Ever since recovering from being sick last week I have been riding an emotional high. The past few days have been nothing special, except that I have been unmistakably deliriously happy. What's up with that?!

Seriously, what is it about my life now that makes me happier than I ever have been before? My life up to this point has been good. I especially enjoyed living in San Francisco -- every now and then I would have what I called "San Francisco Moments" where I'd be walking down the street or riding MUNI or just hanging out in a coffee shop and I would stop whatever I was doing and think, "Wow! I am so lucky to be living in a place like San Francisco."

But now, instead of "San Francisco Moments" I have "Thailand Weeks". For weeks at a time I am so happy and so content and so glad to be here that it literally makes me dizzy.

I hope all this happiness is not obnoxious. I say all of this just to try to figure out why I feel this way. Leave it to me to analyze everything.

So what is it? Is it Thailand itself? Maybe. Yet the more I stay here the more I learn about the not-so-nice side of Thailand. So it's more than just "Thailand".

Is it Bangkok? No, definitely not. This is a very uncomfortable city with the noise and pollution and crowds. But even with all the negatives of Bangkok, I still like living here.

Is it the fact that my life is a little less stressful than my days in the high-tech world? Perhaps. I'm not pulling all-nighters and I am not having to (figuratively) fight my co-workers to get things done.

Is it because I have a job that I really like? Could be, but why do I like it? (We'll save that for another post.)

Is it the people I know? Not really. Besides a few exceptions, I haven't made very deep connections with people here (for various reasons, which again I will leave for another post).

Does living here make me grateful for what I have simply because most everyone around has little-to-nothing? Yeah, that might play a big part of it.

Is it the good, cheap Thai food? It's not the only reason, but it definitely helps!

To be honest, I have no idea what it is. I just know I like it. Why is this important? Because more and more I am thinking about going back to the United States, perhaps even to return next year. But before I go, I have to know in my heart that I can take the way I feel now with me back to America. Otherwise, it's simply not worth it to leave.