Smorgasbord Orgasbord
Posted by Stuart at 09:56 PM on December 12, 2004For some reason, the idea of putting garbage into big sturdy garbage containers hasn't caught on here in Bangkok. Instead, every night plastic trash bags are piled up on the side of the road where they wait to be picked up. This means that it's easy access for the people who make their living recycling cans and bottles, as well as for the soi dogs looking for dinner. And as I found out tonight, the rats of Bangkok enjoy the trash piles as well.
I was casually walking home from the gym tonight when I noticed another pile of trash bags. This pile of bags was moving, however, and soon a 6 inch rat with a tasty morsel in its mouth ran out of the pile. One of the recyclers was a few steps ahead of me, and as he started digging through the pile, two more rats ran out into the street gutter. And then, Rat #4 ran out across the sidewalk and through a chain link fence. And then Rat #5 ran out into the street. And then Rat #6 ran to the chain link fence and quickly scaled it and ran along the top. And then Rats #7 and 8 and 9 and...
Want to guess how many rats can hide in 4 trash bags of garbage? The answer for this particular pile was TWENTY-THREE. That's right, within 10 seconds, TWENTY-THREE big rats ran poured out of the garbage in all directions five feet in front of me. My interest soon turned into fear as I pictured them scaling me as easily as they climbed the fence. *shudder* It was the perfect setting for a Thai horror movie.
The TWENTY-THREE rats all had 6 - 8 inch long bodies and all of them were very fat. The life of a Bangkok rat must be a good one! All the rest of the way home, Templeton's song from Charlotte's Web was running through my head.
A fair is a veritable smorgasbord orgasbord orgasbord
After the crowds have ceased
Each night when the lights go out
It can be found on the ground all around
Oh, what a ratly feast!Melon rines and bits of hotdogs
Cookie crumbs and rotton cotton candy
Melted ice cream, mustard dripplings
Moldy goodies everywhere!Lots of popcorn, apple cores
Bananna peels and soggy sadwiches
And gobs of gorgeous gook to gobble at the fairA fair is a veritable smorgasbord orgasbord orgasbord
After the gates are shut
Each night when the lights go out
It can be found on the ground all around
That's where a rat can glut, glut, glut, glut!
