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Traumatic Experiences

Posted by Stuart at 01:07 PM on September 24, 2005

Whew, as I am sure it is obvious to anyone reading this page, this week has been a rough one for me. But now, 4 days after receiving the shocking news, I am doing much better. Being able to write about it here, and to read other people's comments and emails, and to talk to Ekk the other night, I am feeling back to normal, more or less.

Interestingly, a few days ago I recived an email from a collegue entittled, "21 Things You Can Do While You're Living Through a Traumatic Experience". It was referring mostly to the "traumatic experience" of Katrina (and now Rita, I guess). And whereas my traumatic experience last week wasn't any thing close to what people are going through on the Gulf Coast, it still resonated a litle bit with me.

Some of the 21 things that hit closest to home for me was:

4. Become aware of how the event is affecting you (i.e., your feelings, thoughts, actions—and your physical and spiritual reactions).

If anything, I was acutely aware of the way I felt. I guess that's because I always over-analyze everything all the time.

10. Tell your story. And, allow yourself to feel. It’s okay—not to be okay during a traumatic experience.

This is such a big one for me. I often don't "allow myself to feel". I also don't like taking or writing about bad things. But I am really glad I did, this time.

11. You may experience a desire to withdraw and isolate, causing a strain on significant others. Resist the urge to shut down and retreat into your own world.

Yup, that's me. When things go wrong, I want to lock myself in the bathroom. (Which I did, for a while Tuesday night.) But that's not a good solution.

12. Traumatic stress may compromise your ability to think clearly. If you find it difficult to concentrate when someone is speaking to you, focus on the specific words they are saying—work to actively listen. Slow down the conversation and try repeating what you have just heard.

I noticed this was true. As I said in my original post, I have no idea about the details of the original conversation. I am hoping that I run into those guys again so that I can hear the story again. I think I can handle it... this time.

13. Don’t make important decisions when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Allow trusted family members or friends to assist you with necessary decision-making.

I almost did something really stupid the day after I heard the news. I'll spare you the details. It was unrelated to the news, but let's just say I wasn't thinking very clearly.

14. If stress is causing you to react physically, use controlled breathing techniques to stabilize yourself. Take a slow deep breath by inhaling through your nose, hold your breath for 5 seconds and then exhale through your mouth. Upon exhalation, think the words “relax,” “let go,” or “I’m handling this.” Repeat this process several times.

After Ekk and I talked, I just kept repeating "Let it go, let it go, let it go..." It sounds silly to admit this now, but after about an hour of this, it actually did help.

15. Realize that repetitive thinking and sleep difficulties are normal reactions. Don’t fight the sleep difficulty. Try the following: Eliminate caffeine for 4 hours prior to your bedtime, create the best sleep environment you can, consider taking a few moments before turning out the lights to write down your thoughts—thus emptying your mind.

That is exactly what I did the first night. I ran to my computer and typed like mad. It's amazing how writing helps me find closure.

18. Create a journal. Writing about your experience may help to expose yourself to painful thoughts and feelings and, ultimately, enable you to assimilate your experience.

This has obviously been successful for me :)

20. Try to maintain your schedule. Traumatic events will disrupt the sense of normalcy. We are all creatures of habit. By maintaining our routines, we can maintain a sense of control at a time when circumstances may lead us to feel a loss of control.

Unfortuately, my life doesn't have a schedule lately. This week has just added to the chaos. But hopefully I am getting back to a little bit more "normal" life.

So there we have it. The entire list of 21 Things You Can Do While You're Living Through a Traumatic Experience ia a good read; and something to always keep in mind. It's not a matter of if we will have traumatic experiences, it's unfortunately a matter of when.